I was both happy and sad that I was the only one crying when I left Rowan at the Baby Bumble Bee Day Care today. It was his first half day without me. He seemed happy to see the kids and when I picked him up at noon, he smiled when he saw me and continued to play. I think he would have been perfectly happy to just stay put all day long. Yes, I know this is a good thing. But a little part of me wishes he had missed me as much as I missed him.
As heartbroken as I am, I am grateful to have had a whole year off work to spend with Rowan. It has been the most incredible experience. I do feel like I haven't accomplished as much as I had hoped to, but when I see the shine in his eyes, hear his giggle, or watch him discover something new with enthusiasm, I know that we have done an amazing job at ensuring that he received enough love and security to make his first year of life the best it could have been. And really, that is all that matters.
And so, starting next Monday, Rowan will be at the Day Care full time and I will return to being Jennifer-the-full-time-professional instead of Jennifer-the-full-time-mommy. Part of me is excited about getting a little bit of myself back. However, the biggest part of me will be secretly counting the days until I have Rowan all to myself again.
~ 211 days~
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