Those Juicy Crustaceans

Here are a couple of pictures of us on New Year's Eve. The baby is in bed and we are enjoying a quiet night in with a pair of critters and a little glass of good champagne. And yes, I am in my PJs.

One Heck of a Year

Can you believe that it was one year ago today that we found out about little Rowan? I can't. Even if my pregnancy seemed to drag on and I wished the year away every day just to speed up his arrival, I am still floored by the fact that a full 365 days have gone by since I saw those two little pink lines on the stick. But they have, and this year, unlike all years past, I have a growing yard stick to measure how the year went. Imagine, it only took 39 weeks+1 day to grow a perfect little human being, and he is here. I mean, *really* here.

It's hard not to reflect on years past as this year comes to a close. 2006 and 2007 stick out in my mind because I know how rough they were on me. But looking back now, I find it difficult to remember exactly how bad they really were. Finding John and having Rowan has almost erased the memories of having my life turned completely upside down. Thoughts of my old life do come to me from time-to-time but instead of causing a knot in my stomach now, the thoughts remind me of how far I have come in such a short time. They help me to not forget how truly blessed I am to have made it out of that life and into this one. Don't get me wrong, there was happiness in Vernon but there was also a lot of worry and emptiness. Now, where there was constant uncertainty, frustration, and loss, I have comfort, joy and a love that can't be matched. 2008 was the best year of my life and that's amazing to me because it wasn't too long ago that it felt like everything was wrong. Now everything couldn't be more right. I think that is worth a sip of champagne or two and a big fat juicy lobster...

p.s. this picture is of Rowan wearing the onesie I bought in anticipation of getting pregnant. I gave it to J as a way to tell him that he was going to be a daddy.

What Did Santa Put in My Stocking?

I finished Rowan's stocking on time for Santa to fill it with lots of goodies including this rattle and cute hat.

Christmas Present

Holidays are hard on a baby. They are equally hard on a baby's parents. Or at least they can be. The only way that I survived the lead up to Christmas, Christmas itself and the days following was by just "going with the flow" so to speak. Oddly enough and contrary to what I thought possible, being a mom has been teaching me to relax where the little things in life are concerned. Yes, I am still an obsessive worrier and still check for life-signs when Rowan sleeps through his 3am feeding but I think (and maybe I am wrong here and my family will surely correct me) I am able to let go of things that really don't have much significance. For example, we missed Christmas mass and I didn't lose my mind! Imagine that...

That reminds me, this Christmas, much like a lot of the past 4 months was filled with a bunch of "firsts" worth mentioning. This was the first Christmas:

• for our baby Rowan of course
• where I didn't have all of the shopping done at least a week before the big day (in fact, I picked up a few more gifts after the holidays were over!)
• where I just gave up on finding the right gifts because of time or because I was flat out of ideas in some cases
• we spent Christmas in Ottawa
• we missed mass (as mentioned earlier but worth mentioning again because this should have been a bigger deal than it was!)
• we didn't cook our own turkey dinner
• we didn't have mashed potatoes or turnip and survived
• where my father only ate about a cup of food at Christmas dinner instead of his normal 2 plates full (I ate his share instead)
• we had with Gramma R in a very long time (possibly 15 years?)
• that I didn't nap the days away
• that I threw a hissy fit in the parking lot jumping up and down like a spoiled child (I pray the neighbours didn't witness my breakdown)
• that I didn't eat a pound of chocolate before lunch on Christmas day

Our Christmas-day-gift-opening-extravaganza was as it always has been. We started opening presents at about 7:30am and didn't finish until close to 1pm. Rowan had a couple of naps between gifts which did extend the event slightly, but I would say that we had a solid 5 hours of gift-opening. As sick and over-the-top as this may sound, we are known for wrapping everything up even if it is just a pair of socks and we each take our turn which, I have to say, is a lot more fun than having all our gifts in front of us and ripping them open all at once. I like watching the surprise on everyone's face when they open their gifts and well, that's lost when everyone is opening what they got all at the same time. I still don't know what Lila, Pauline and Hanan got for Christmas because of the mayhem that went on at the Bejjani's on Christmas night. I prefer the Richardson way and I always will. Rowan received more gifts than I could keep track of. They came from everywhere! People love babies. It never ceases to amaze me. He seems to like Tad the best at this point. Mind you, he is too small for about 90% of the toys he received. He falls asleep to the frog singing. His dad and I hate the thing, but I am pretty sure that parental hate is inversely proportional to toy success. That means the cute Animalz that I found in England are likely going to flop big time regardless if they were rated as one of CoolMom's top 10 toys of the year. He will also probably ignore the handmade bunny I found on the street in Cardiff. The lucky little boy got a lot of cute clothing too. He needed it. Especially the long sleeved onesies and the pjs. I loved opening the gifts J found for him because I didn't know what they were going to be. I think we'll continue to buy gifts for the little tadpole independently because it makes for more fun and I am all about the fun. I am really looking forward to Christmases where Rowan is aware of what is going on and is able to participate. I remember not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve because I was both excited and terrified that Santa was coming. I want that for him. I want him to grow up with traditions that he'll miss when they are broken or skipped like the things that I missed this year-- like the sparkle of Christmas mass, the singing and the sound of christmas night which is the muffled sound of snow crunching beneath my feet (and the weird silence of snow falling), the smell of turkey cooking, my mother's gravy, turnip, my grandparents, boxing day with bestfriends... Here a few photos of the Richardson Christmas morning madness. I will post a few of my favourite photos taken over the holiday in another blog.

A New Tradition

One of the things that I have been looking forward to has been the opportunity to start new traditions with Rowan while holding on to the many old ones that we have in our family. Christmas is full of tradition and so I guess it is only natural that our "first" new tradition happened on Christmas Eve. Much to John's delight, he got to be center stage for the event-- Here he is reading "The Night Before Christmas" to the babies in the family just before bedtime. He insisted on providing a commentary after every line which stressed me out because I could see that baby Rowan was growing impatient and needed to hit the sac. I guess Daddy will have to learn to read his crowd a little better in the years to come. Someday the commentary will be appreciated but this year, let's just say the babes were too young to understand his cleverness.

A Good Boy I have Been. I Swear.

Auntie Nicole and Uncle Darren bought Rowan the cutest Christmas onesie out there to be had this year. The only bad thing about it is that it won't fit next year! He wore it to the cookie exchange and of course, he was even sweeter than the goodies that were traded that day.

Cookie, Cookie, Cookie...Good Enough For Everyone But Me

I held a Christmas Cookie Exchange this year. It was a success although I won't be able to eat any of the goodies that were brought by my 12 guests. They probably all contain that nasty stuff called soy. why does God have to be so cruel and put soy in chocolate (and flip the canoe)? What I wouldn't do for just a little taste...Actually, hurt my baby is what I wouldn't do, but the cookies sure did look good.

Here is a picture or two of Rowan learning to bake.

Almost Ready For Christmas??

One of the great things about having family and visitors over the Christmas holiday is that our house gets cleaned from top to bottom (or any holiday for that matter). I have to admit that the housekeeping around here has been very low on my list of priorities since, oh...about the 7th month of pregnancy. That means I have let things slide and pile up for at least 6 months. There is an awful lot of crud that can accumulate during that time period and it could be worse. If my mom and ana hadn't strapped on their rubber gloves and cleaned like mad molly-maids while I was in the hospital getting ready to bring Rowan home (thanks again for that.) I am pretty sure there would be bags of dog hair being pulled out from under the couches now. I have never really *liked* cleaning the house, but I like everyone else, hate the filth and feel wonderful when the house is sparkling like it was last night. The trick will be to keep it prestine until at least Christmas Eve. Luckily the little man is quite content to sit in his swing these days or to be toted around in the ergobaby by a daddy that is an excellent house-wife. Here is my house-wife mopping the floors...

Headline reads: "Child Swallows Band-Aid in Grocery Store Line Up" and you think-- WHAT KIND OF IDIOT LETS THAT HAPPEN!

Did I mention that I almost amputated my son's finger with nail clippers? Yes, I have learned to exaggerate well. I come by it honestly. But seriously, the blood that came out of the place where the chunk of skin use to be was enough to make my head light and my knees buckle. John on the other hand was completely calm and had enough witts about him to suggest a Band-Aid. Rowan didn't cry for long but I am still getting over the incident. Can you get post-traumatic-stress-disorder from something like this?

Needless to say, I won't be cutting his nails anymore. I hated it to begin with because of the thought of what *could* happen. I hate it even more now. I feel my chest tightening and my heart pounding even now as I write about the experience. What will I do the first time he bangs his head or scrapes his knee you ask? My answer--that isn't going to happen because as soon as he is able to walk he will be wrapped in bubble wrap from head-to-toe. I am fully prepared for the consequences associated with being an overbearing and overprotective mother.

Yes, that is another exaggeration.

Here is a photo of our little guy with all 10 fingers and 10 toes. I am proud to say we have done a pretty good job keeping him alive so far even if he did almost swallow the Band-Aid that we had to use to stop the blood from flowing. My trusty risk-assessment skills saved us again because I wouldn't let him out of my sight with that thing on the thumb he likes to suck and well, as it turns out, for good reason. I pulled the Band-Aidout of his mouth when he started to gag in the line-up at the grocery store. Oh the trials of parenthood...

P.S...

If the US government has its way the link I posted for Etsy will be in danger as of February 2009. The US is attempting to pass a law that requires all children items to be tested for lead content which will put a lot of small businesses out of business...

Homemade Resolution

I learned to knit and crochet when I was about 8 years old. Yes, that means that I have been wielding needles for 26 years. In the beginning I didn't know how to follow a pattern and so I often just "winged-it" and made my own designs. Today, because I am pattern literate and because I don't have a lot of time to make things with my hands anymore let alone come up with something new, I am ashamed to say that I rarely produce things that are originals. I also seem to have lost some of my creativity with age which I am hoping will be revived again thanks to spending so much time with Rowan. Play does wonderful things for parents who have become too serious and have forgotten how to pretend. I know this because everyday I come up with a new song (as stupid and simple as it may be) and I make the most absurd faces just to get a laugh out of that little boy of mine. Perhaps, in 2009 I will start using my hands and imagination again...but if I don't, I plan to support people who do. If you look right, you'll see that I have added a link to Etsy--a site that sells nothing but handmade stuff. There are some seriously talented people out there and Ithink that for Christmas next year I will try to buy something for each person on my list from someone out there who is trying to make a little money by using their talents.

I Like to Swim--Really, I Do.

As promised, here are better shots of Rowan at swimming lessons. He doesn't look all that enthused but he does really like the pool. He especially likes to drink the water. I guess he doesn't understand the meaning of cryptosporidium and ecoli yet. That will come.

Luck

Rowan and I stuck around the house most of the week even though we really needed to get our Christmas shopping done. I didn't want to mess up the nap schedule after working so hard to get his routine ironed out. What I have come to conclude is that he needs to sleep at least every hour and he doesn't like long naps. I call them "snaps". He might rest for 30 to 60 minutes and although it is hard on me because I can't get anything done between snaps, he is so happy and fun when he is awake that it makes all my unproductiveness worthwhile. We have been putting him to bed as soon as he shows sleepy signs which happens anywhere between 6 and 7pm. It is really hard to put him down so early because I want to be with him and John in the evenings, but the early bed time has resulted in a week's worth of long sleeps and fewer feedings. Last night he slept straight from 6pm until 7am this morning. How did we get so lucky?

Speaking of lucky...we have been preparing the Shepherd's Of Good Hope Hampers and everyday since we started thinking about the hampers I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. This year I am particularly sensitive because I can't help but think of all of the little kiddies who are born into less fortunate families and how they won't know the kind of life that Rowan will have. I hold Rowan a little closer and a little longer when I think of the families we will be helping this year, especially the single mom who just a had a baby a month ago and who already has two other little ones to worry about. I simply can't imagine what it must be like to dread the holidays because of the knowledge that I couldn't give my children a gift or even a Christmas dinner. Again, how did we get to be so lucky?

A Believer I am

I started reading a book called "Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Baby" which Ana loaned me a very long time ago. I wish I had picked it up earlier because I have learned a lot about Rowan's sleeping habits and let's just say, the book has made me a believe in the early bed time. I hate putting the little guy in his crib around 7pm, but he wakes up smiley and ready to learn more about his surroundings and his naps are getting longer now too just like the book said they would. He also sleeps from about 7:30pm until 3 or 4am which he was not doing before because I guess he was overtired and not able to stay asleep. I thought we had a good sleeper to begin with because he was relatively easy to put down at night and would go back to sleep immediately after each nighttime feeding. Now we have an amazingly bright eyed happy snoozer who loves to suck his fingers and thumb to soothe himself as he falls asleep not only at night, but during the day too.

I don't think I mentioned that we completed the soy challenge and failed. I had 2 slices of bread with soybean flour and a little soya sauce for lunch on December 4th and within an hour the pooping began. By dinner there was blood which confirmed that he is intolerant. I am praying that the milk challenge on Christmas day will be successful because I really miss cheese and ice cream but I am certain that it will continue to be an issue. I guess I will be happy with one day of going hog-wild on milk containing goodies. In the end, eating this way is better for my shrinking waist line anyway...

I have posted a picture of our well rested bumbo tolerating little guy...

A Swimming We Will Go

On Saturday our little 3 month old started swimming lessons. He was by far the youngest child in the pool which had me slightly anxious and a tad embarrassed because I imagined all the other parents thinking to themselves "oh my god, look at those first time parents!". I quickly got over the stupid self-talk and was proud of Rowan and Daddy for getting right in there and playing. Of course Rowan couldn't participate in the ball games or the singing but he did float on his back, enjoyed licking (lapping) up the pool water and dunking. Yes--DUNKING. Daddy was more brave than I would have been that is for sure but now that I have watched them having so much fun, I think I will take my turn in the pool too. I just have to find a bathing suit that fits which even on a skinny good day is not an enjoyable task.

30 minutes of swimming flew by. I was stunned when the instructor said it was time to get out. I could have spent the whole day watching my boys. Rowan had his first wrinkled feet and hands at the end. Unfortunately we didn't get the best photos because we figured taking pictures might be highly frowned upon in an area full of half naked babies and so this is the only one I have. It was taken in our private family change area with my phone. Next time I will take a better one with my real camera.

Santa's Lil Helper

As I mentioned, Rowan got to see Santa and Grampa got to see Rowan sitting on Santa's lap today. The picture John took of Rowan shown here before we left to see Santa turned out better than the picture we got at the mall. But it was a ton of fun nonetheless.

This perfect outfit was purchased by grammy and poppa for this very day.

What Does Fencing Have to Do With Santa?

Nothing except that my dad came down to help John put the fence up and we got to take Rowan to see Santa at the same time. It was a short but sweet visit. I listened to my dad singing Leonard Cohen to Rowan as I got ready up stairs. I peeked down on him and there he was rocking my baby to sleep. Because Rowan got his early morning nap in on Poppa he was a happy little camper when he sat on St-Nick's lap. It was a truly wonderful day.

Whopping Winter

Our trip back from the UK was more difficult than our trip there. Our flight was canceled the night before we left and we were put on an earlier flight connecting through Toronto. I was completely stressed right out. I figured we would miss our connection and wind up with a screaming unhappy sleepy baby. The screaming unhappy baby part did happen even though we made it on to our flight from Toronto. I can't blame him. I felt like crying too and I am 34 years of age and what I would consider a "seasoned" traveler. I HATE Air Canada on the best of days. I still hate them even if they gave us a travel voucher for close to 1K in value. They gave a man in the line up some lame story about the plane not arriving the night before. I am sure it didn't arrive because they canceled the flight to combine 2 half empty flights to save money. I can't really blame them for that because it does seem stupid to flight to Ottawa and Toronto an hour apart with 2 half empty planes but they should tell the truth and not make up silly lies that they think will appease their clients. Anyway, we survived. We survived to find the city covered in snow. The only thing I like about winter so far is Rowan in his winter coat. He is enough to warm even the coldest travel-weary-fed up winter-hating-heart.

Miles and Milestones

Our trip to Bath is coming to an end. We leave tomorrow morning at 8:30am. I am happy to be going home although I absolutely loved my time here. It is a beautiful friendly city and I'd come back in a heart beat. I believe Rowan enjoyed his time too. We certainly put a lot of miles on his stroller and on my feet. We explored every day. However, the nice part about being here for over a week was that we were able to pretend we were in Ottawa and see the sights at our own pace. We would get up in the morning (usually after sleeping in until 9am), eat, play, get cleaned up, nap and then go out to do some shopping. I didn't really feel like a tourist. Maybe that's because I didn't do any of the touristy things? I am not sure, but I am leaving here feeling as though somehow this is partly my city now...I believe we will be back.

Last Sunday J took us to London where we saw the Parliament buildings, the Eye, the Aquarium (which was a disappointment because one of the main areas was closed off),Trafalgar Square and Big Ben. We didn't make it to the Palace but that didn't matter. We had a great time navigating the city by foot and subway. I enjoyed the train ride to London as well. The train ride home on the other hand was difficult because we didn't have a seat. We were lucky enough to find a car that had enough room for the stroller but we stood for quite some time before a very nice young woman gave up her spot for us. I guess there is something to be said about pre-purchasing your tickets especially when you have a 2.5month old with you. Live and learn! All in all the traveling has been quite easy and I am proud of J and I for not only sailing through it, but also managing not to get into any kind of tiff while moving about.

Rowan and I also took a side trip to Cardiff Wales on Thursday. Because of the potential difficulty in storing the stroller on the train, I decided to only bring the Ergo Baby and to carry Rowan the entire time. Again I thoroughly enjoyed the train ride. I didn't even care that Rowan had a major Poop Explosion on our way there and I had to change him on the seat next to me. We saw a castle which was interesting. I wish we had gone on a tour of the place but the timing was slightly off. I arrived close to feeding time and didn't want to start the tour and then have to find a place to sit down with the baby and so I planned to go back after he ate. The problem is I started shopping and well, hours went by and by the time I was making my way back to the castle I was tired and my feet hurt. We did find a few Christmas presents though which is more than I expected to accomplish anyhow.

Not only did we get to see and do a lot of fun and different things on this trip, but we learned a lot too. Both Rowan and I hit some pretty important milestones together. Here they are (again in no particular order):

Rowan's:

• He pulled himself up to a standing position while holding my hands.
• He held on to his toy and brought it to his mouth for the first time.
• He rolled from him back to his tummy (and did this more than once just to prove to us that it was deliberate).
• He outgrew the Bonkie (boohoo) and slept through the night unswaddled.
  

Mine:

• I learned to just whip out the boob and feed. I didn't care what anyone thought. I have been pretty good really all along about feeding but now I am a seasoned pro.
• I traveled alone with my child and not only did okay, but loved it.
• I spent many consecutive days alone with Rowan and got showered, did my hair, cleaned the place up, and went out to have some fun each day.
  
• I changed a majorly dirty diaper on a rail car seat and a toilet seat in a public bathroom all in the same day.
• Carried my baby for hours, got the ergo baby on and off alone, navigated a strange city and only spilled my wine gums!
• I baked a milk/soy free banana bread by modifying a recipe I found on line and using limited cooking equipment.
  
• I asked a complete stranger to help me clip the Ergo Baby.
  

All of these things may sound minor to others but they were very big accomplishments for Rowan and I. I am especially proud of my little man. Although, in some way I am also sad to see him already doing so much because I know that he is going to grow up too quickly. Someday that adoring look he has on his face when he stares at me when we play will be gone and he won't need me anymore. Parenthood is the most beautiful and in some ways the cruelest thing anyone could ever experience. I guess accepting that he is his own person and not MINE will be another milestone...one that I am not ready for and that I will delay for as long as I can. Selfish? Of course it is but that's okay for now.

Rowan's Photo Shoot Success

We received a sample of some of the photos we had taken of Rowan earlier this fall. I absolutely love the shot of my baby and man together. Just one good photo of the two of them was well worth the money in my mind since I can't seem to take any myself. Here they are: Daddy (36 years) and Rowan (7 weeks).

Loves of My Life

A Trip Across the Pond

We found out last Thursday afternoon that John was wanted in Bath England for Monday morning. We were getting ready for a week long trip to Blind River which we cut short to be back in Ottawa on time to catch a night flight to England on Wednesday instead. While I was disappointed to have to make a long trek to see my folks only to turn around and go back to Ottawa a few days later, I was very excited about my second trip to Europe. A trip I would be making with my baby boy and husband nonetheless!

The last minute trip did cause us (especially me) a lot of stress. John was in Philadelphia and so I had to run around with Rowan in his stroller for 2 days to get passport pictures, the car cargo rack (so that we could lug all of his stuff and the dogs with us where ever we go), get Rowan's allergy tests done and then apply for his passport. It may not sound like a lot of things to accomplish in 48 hours but it was. Rowan was in his car seat for no less than 6 hours per day and was very cranky by the end of it all. So was I come to think of it. My anxiety was fueled by the passport office who didn't like his photos, who wanted a ticket before giving me his passport and then who, when I had my ticket, questioned why Rowan's name wasn't on the ticket. In the end all of the bumps were ironed out and on Wednesday just before heading to the airport we picked up his passport and were on our way.

And here we are--in Bath, England. John and Rowan are both fast asleep as I write. My boys are exhausted after traveling to Blind River and back and then getting on an airplane the next day. In total we have traveled 29 hours in the past 5 days. That's enough to knock anyone on their bum, especially if that anyone is a 2.5 month old or a tired daddy who barely got any sleep in the days leading up to our trip. I am exhausted too but I think that caring for Rowan has trained my body to deal with intermittent and interrupted sleep. I am looking forward to exploring the city tomorrow with my bright-eyed little man staring at me out from his Quinney. Watching him watching me is my favourite thing to do these days and I can't imagine a better place to do the watching from than the streets of a quaint old town! I wonder what we will find?

Here are a few things that our first family trip away from Canada has taught me (not in any particular order):

1. Babies need a ticket no matter what the on-line booking site says.
   
2. You can only purchase the ticket for a baby by calling the airline directly (at least this is how Air Canada works)
3. Calling the airline is a good idea because the agent will give you a bulkhead seat which has a bassinet attachment.
4. You need a ticket with mention of the baby in order to get the baby's expedited passport.
   
5. Passport employees can be real jerks even if you are visibly upset and have a screaming baby on your hip.
6. The world would be far more chaotic without good friends (Thanks Angelina for bringing us our ticket and sitting with Rowan!)
7. Flying at night with a baby is a good idea because they sleep the whole way (if you have the bassinet which you aren't guaranteed to get even if you have a bulk head seat because they only have 2 on board at any given time).
8. Car seats get checked. Strollers can go to the gate where they are put on the sky check.
9. Sky check doesn't mean "No damage".
10. Hiring a car is a good idea when traveling with a baby, a stroller, 4 large suit cases and a car seat.
11. Ordering a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet means you eat first on the plane and it actually tastes good.
12. There is such thing as lacto-ovo chocolate cake!
13. Driving a stroller full of groceries and baby is risky business. Good thing the basmati rice was the only casualty.
    
14. No matter what the photographer says, baby passport photos should be as perfect as possible if you don't want any fuss.
    
15. Second sets of passport pictures do not need to be signed by the guarantor (we didn't need to do this but when our photos were questioned they told me I could just take Rowan downstairs for new shots and come back).
16. The passport people may say they will call your guarantor but they don't.
    
17. Flying with a teething baby is hell (this is based on the poor mom flying solo with her 8 month old boy who cried the entire flight as our angel snoozed. By the way, Rowan was the same size as the 8 month old).
18. 2.5 month old's can fit into size 6-12 month clothing (I learned he fit into all of his clothes when packing for this trip).
19. England has a much wider selection of healthy foods in the grocery stores and it is safer for people with allergies because everything comes with an allergy allert on the label.
20. French and Italian bakery bread are generally milk and soy free but you need to consult the bakers (who are wonderful in England).
21. Canada and the US are either super paranoid about terrorism or really like plexiglass. In England, the customs agents sit behind a normal desk and actually get out to look at your sleeping baby.
22. The Bonkie (http://www.babybonkie.com), although it may appear to be trendy version of a straight-jacket to some, is a LIFE SAVER.
23. Men with loud coughs scare the shit out of anxious parents but don't seem to affect a sleeping baby.
24. Avoid the red wine on flights. There is a reason it is free.
    

Tomorrow Rowan and I will walk daddy to work and take in the sights. I simply can't wait.

10 Days Milk Free

We saw the allergist last Friday and a milk/soy allergy was ruled out by pricking Rowan's arm in 5 places. I am not sure what kind of quack-doctor invented the torture devices that are used for allergy testing, but I would be willing to bet the doctor was NOT a mother. He screamed as the doctor broke his skin in 5 places on his forearm. I wanted to cry along with him but, I stayed strong and pinned his arm down like a good (bad?) mommy. I am very glad that he doesn't seem to be allergic but he could still have a sensitivity. As such, I am still on the milk/soy free diet until the 15th of December or so when I start re-introducing them back into my diet. If he reacts poorly to the milk or soy, I will go off them again for at least another month and try again later. The diet has been good for my weight loss (I am down to 164lbs) but I am very hungry all the time. It is very time consuming and difficult to eat this way. I would kill for chocolate or a big fat piece of cheese cake right now. But, like I said in my last blog entry, the diet is worth it if he feels better and so far, he seems to be very good. Here are a few changes we have noticed since I went off the milk/soy (which by the way is in EVERYTHING):

• Only 3-4 poops per day
• Poops are less runny
• Poops do not cause him any distress. In fact, the grunting and groaning has been reduced substantially
• Less gas overall
• He has slept over 8 hours straight at night
• His demenour is a lot more cheerful
• His nose isn't as stuffy
• His skin doesn't seem as rashy
  

So far the Organics name brand by PC seems to be the safest bet when shopping even though I am reluctant to by anything "organic" simply out of principal. Doesn't anyone find it strange that eating "organic" is a big craze when all food is organic? I mean hell, who is eating a chunk of lead or steel anyhow? Yes, I know-- "organic" is supposed to mean chemical-free among other things. But, it DOES NOT in all cases. It means that there are no man-made pesticides/fungicides/insectices on the food. Guess what, some of the naturally occurring "ides" are worse for you than any of the synthetics and they are being sprayed all over crops these days. How else do you think you get a fresh strawberry in the middle of a Canadian winter???. I believe in buying local. I believe in buying free-range because of the cruelty to animals but I do not believe in paying a premium just because the word "organic" has been attached to the goods. Yes, some "organics" might be better for you, but some may not. I have to admit that the "Organics" name brands seems to be made of less ingredients (and appears to be closer to the "Source") than most other brands but I'd be a fool to believe that the ingredients were not grown with some form of chemical treatment. "Organic"="Ergonomic"= Potential YARN as in Wool-over-your-eyes.

Who says I am not opinionated? Oh, and of course there is the whole argument that we should want some of our foods to be sprayed with chemicals because they prevent nasty toxin-releasing-moulds from growing. Things like peanuts need chemicals otherwise you might be ingesting carcinogens such as aflotoxin. If you don't believe me, look it up. Nature is better at chemical making than man that is for sure. Now, if only we could harness the super-glue made by water dwelling creatures--that would be something I would pay a premium for!

2 Month Report

Rowan turned 2 months old on November 6th and to celebrate, we left size 1-2 diapers behind. To mark this important date, we have taken a picture of the diaper changes he has gone through so far. See below.

He visited his pediatrician yesterday for his shots. We were also told that he is in the 95th percentile for weight, 90th for height and 75th for head size. I believe the exact words out of the doctor's mouth were "You can't ask for any better than that". He is perfect and growing very well. However, after some discussions around the mini-diet experiment we have been conducting to determine whether or not he might be allergic to milk protein, the doctor decided that we might be on to something and we are now going to see an allergist on Friday. I have been put on a no milk/soy diet until we are sure which means I have to say goodbye to my beloved ice cream...at least for a little while anyway. To be fair, giving up ice cream is a small price to pay to have a happy baby who doesn't have tummy troubles. Reducing milk seemed to make a big difference and so I suspect complete elimination of milk/soy will work wonders.

PICTURES TO COME

Tummy Sleeping Angel

He is like his mom in more ways than one but today we discovered his true love of sleeping on his tummy (just like me). He has been lying on me or on the couch for hours it seems and he hasn't budged. He is perfect in every way and when I look over at him, I can't help but wonder what Angel lost him here with us. My sleepy baby...

Rowan has discovered his hands and tongue this week. He sucks and sucks his hand when he can remember to get it to his mouth. When he isn't sucking he is sticking his tongue out in the funniest ways. His tongue is very long, it reaches below his tiny little dimpled chin! Watching him and his million faces is one of my favourite pastimes these days but, it is the playing we get in before his morning nap that I love most. He laughs on his change table as daddy and I tickle his chin or kiss him all over. Speaking of kissing...I swear he understands what a kiss is. His tongue discovery has made my kissing game a little wet though. He actually drooled in my mouth the other day. I never thought I would think baby drool was a good thing but I'll take the drool if it means getting a humongous smile and giggle out of my little man.

Rowan's "gas" problem seems to be under control now thanks to Infacol which he gets when I have too much milk. I am glad that I can have cow's milk in my coffee now. I am nervous to attempt icecream even though I dream of having a big old soft serve cone from the "Chips and Dairy" down the street. Now look who is drooling. Damn!

Now *That* is Labour

On Thanksgiving weekend John, my Dad, his Dad and Brent started installing our fence. We agreed to do all of the work so that Geeta and Beatrice would not have to pay anyone for labour. While we knew that the soil around the house was bound to be full of garbage, no one was prepared for the amount of rock that was hidden beneath the ground. The men tried digging a hole or two by hand but gave up and rented a monster auger. It worked even though our neighbour who installed his fence entirely on his own (and who dug each hole by hand) said the auger didn't work for him. Even with the hydraulic power of a machine, the holes took the men 1.5 days to complete. Unfortunately we had an enourmous amount of rain and snow since that weekend and our post holes filled with water which has now created even more work for John and the gang. There is something to be said about paying a contractor for work of this nature.

The posts are now being put into the ground as I type. A construction grade pump and shop vac later, the holes have been semi-evacuated of water and it looks like John and his dad (with touque on his head) are figuring things out quite nicely. My husband is not known for his handiness. That's Dave's domain in this family. But, no one can say that John doesn't try his damnedest around the house. He is always ready to take on new projects and learn new skills. I am proud of him and his muddy jeans and boots.

We had Barb and Sue over for dinner last night. Because John was outside all day Hanan, Lila and Pauline came over to help me with Rowan so that I could cook and clean. It was very thoughtful of them and I appreciated having free hands. The little man is hard to work around sometimes and he slows me down considerably. I am not sure how I would have washed the floors on my hands and knees with him strapped in the ergo-baby. I think that the dinner was good and that Barb and Sue appreciated their official "Thank-you Dinner" and gifts. I am embarrassed that it took us this long to thank them properly for Puff, but we've been a little busy to say the least. I still wouldn't have pulled it off without the help I received. I wonder how long it will be before I am able to juggle baby, house work, entertaining, errands, my hair and make-up all at the same time?

Today Rowan and I are heading to SmithFalls for Shelly's bridal shower. He is dressed in his sushi outfit that I bought for him long before he was here with us. It was his first official outfit and I am glad it fits now. Actually, I am glad I tried it on today because it won't fit much longer. It is size 3-6 months and Ithought it looked big but apparently I have a large baby boy. John stepped on the scale with him this morning and he is roughly 14lbs at 8 weeks old. I have already forgotten how small he was at birth. Oh...my little squishy.

Stay tuned for pictures that go along with this blog...

Halloweeeeen......

I took Rowan to Strollercise class for the second time today. Like a good mother, I forgot to dress him in his halloween outfit and so he was one of two babies who was not all decked out. My second failure of the day came when I raced around the city to find a pumpkin to carve and couldn't find a single one! Luckily I did manage to snatch a few boxes of candy for the trick-o-treaters tonight. Imagine, it's his first halloween and I messed it up. I promise to make it up to him next year...Here is how he should have looked this morning beside the other little munchkins...





So cute I could eat him up..whoahahahahaha

Terrified of...Just About Everything

I remember when I was terrified of a miscarriage or finding out that Rowan was a tumour instead of a little baby growing inside of me. Those days of terror were nothing compared to these days of terror... I am afraid that worry will turn me into a raging lunatic. I must get up at least twice a night to make sure he is still breathing, I have these sick thoughts of falling on him as I go down the stairs each morning, I imagine all of the horrid accidents he could have while in the bath, on his change table, in the middle of our bed, beside us in bed, in the car, while left alone with his grandparents... I don't want to be a parent that squishes the life out of their child because of fear or turns her child into a leg-clenching-stranger-fearing-mommy's-boy but my lord, this world is a cruel place! And I would have to be an expert in hazard identification and evaluation wouldn't I!

To make things worse, today John went in to check on chub-chub (his newest nickname) while he was napping and what does he see... Rowan's face was playing hide-and-seek under his blanket. Poor John just about had an aneurysm and whipped the blanket off in a flash. He immediately came downstairs to re-enact the whole thing for me as I write this blog! You might ask why he was sleeping with a blanket in the first place? Well, I thought I had found a sneaky way of doing a "half swaddle" where his arms were restrained but his legs were free so that he wouldn't over heat (because you know overheating causes SIDS right?). Apparently I was an idiot and he won't be sleeping that way ever again.

This parenting thing is enough to make me mental.

My Favourite Site...

Ana spent a large amount of time surfing the net when she was off on maternity and was shocked to hear that there are only a few sites that I visit with any regularity. This happens to be my favourite and it is where I learn all about the very nifty baby things out there in this big wide world. Ana put me on to it the moment she found out we were expecting. Enjoy!

Ana is right, we didn't know what we were in for. In fact, we still don't know and we have managed to make it through 7 weeks of babycare and parenthood without too much going wrong or harry. I'd say that J and I have done pretty darn well considering the fact that neither of us had changed a diaper alone before our first night with our boy. While I knew that babies spit up, poop a lot, tinkle in your lap, howl from time-to-time, and sleep all day long and eat all night (all of which our Rowan does very well minus the spit up which is non-existent in our house), I wasn't prepared for how much I would love this little boy. And so yes, Ana is right--but it isn't the "bad" things that we couldn't have prepared ourselves for. Instead, it is the unbelievable love and joy that has me turned upside down and living in what I have heard referred to as a "fog". I had no idea that my parents loved me this much or in *this* way. I wish I had words to describe what parenthood feels like, but I don't. Maybe someday when I have my witts back and I am able to reflect a little longer than 5 minutes at a time I will be more eloquent and find the right things to say...or maybe not. Maybe *this* is supposed to be left undescribed so that others can experience the miracle of loving their child on their own and in their own way.

Although I can't describe how I feel, I can describe the things we have experienced so far. I know that I have lost a lot of what has happened already because memory works in funny ways and I am saddened to think that I will forget even more as time goes on. So, as an attempt to capture what I can before it slips away here is what our lives have been like since September 6th, 2008.

Let's see. How can we organize this... I know:

Hanging About the House:
Like most new parents we spend an enormous amount of time at home. I am pretty sure my lovely kid-unfriendly couch is going to have a large indent in it by the end of my 12 months off because I seem to sit a lot. I have found it quite difficult to do much of anything except stare at Rowan and pretend I know how to play with him. We sing, we tickle but mostly we just look at each other in wonder. John is much better at playing and I think that is why his boy smiled at him first. It happened in the bath in the early weeks and now happens more regularly. In fact, the smiles started to be a daily thing on Monday, October 27th. We have an amazing assortment of photos of the little guy from the time he was carried through the front doors. Here are a few of my favourites:
Rowan at 5 days old.

Visits:
When Rowan was 7 days old we took him to 2 birthday parties where he met his Great gramma- Sitou, many of his great aunts and uncles and second/third cousins. He managed quite well and so did we for that matter. He peed on his grampa's lap while at Sitou's birthday party which was comical but also embarrassing for his poor mom! His dad was quite proud though.

Rowan also took a trip to meet his Great Gramma on my side of the family as well. We have been back to see great-gramma on other occasions as well but I have to admit, taking the little man into the old age home gives me the hibby-jibbies. The thought of all of the germs in that place makes me feel, well--sick. I am not a paranoid freak about cleanliness and sanitization but after an elderly woman in a wheel chair stuck her hands in Rowan's mouth during our last visit I contemplated having him swallow a spoonful of rubbing alcohol. Okay--that's not true, but I worried about his health for a few days afterward. Why is it that a pregnant woman and a baby are public domain? Why do people think that they can put their hands all over you or your baby? It's the strangest phenomenon and I don't think I will ever truly understand it. I certainly don't have the urge to walk up to a complete stranger and poke my fingers in their tummy or in their baby's face! Sheesh...

We have had many visitors to the house since his arrival as well. My family has been back for Thanksgiving which we hosted, Rowan has met his Uncles Joey, Gihad, San, Chris and Dom and Aunts Suzanne, Sue, Caroline, Michelle and Lou. I expected the women to love Rowan but it was how the men reacted to Rowan that I will cherish most. I haven't had the opportunity to see any of John's friends with a little baby before and it was a real treat. He is loved, there is no doubt about that. I think one of the greatest pleasures we will have will be to watch Rowan grow up with all of the little ones either here, on their way or in the dreams of their wonderful parents to be.

Jen Petric, Gerry and Shirley, Geeta and Beatrice our neighbours, Saryu and Shelly, Aunt Mountaha and Uncle Michel, Aunt Nejat and Perla, Dora and Ezzio have also met our little boy. It is unanomous- he is a big hit (but then again, was there ever any doubt he would be?).


Great Gramma Richardson

Trips:
From the very beginning John and I have planned to travel a lot with Rowan. We wanted to get him used to being in the car seat and sitting still for prolonged periods of time because we anticipate that our lives will be filled with wonderful adventures outside of Ottawa. And so, we have packed him up and had him in Toronto twice in October. We went to Emily's second birthday where he visited the Toronto Zoo. He slept through the entire experience but his mother thoroughly enjoyed the hippopotomous and elephants. His dad loved the insects and reptile exhibits. I have to admit, I liked them too.

Rowan met his Uncle Chris and Emily for the first time. It was love at first sight for Emily. Apparently Rowan is one of her best friends already. Again, should we have expected anything less? Absolutely not. I suspect that, while they may live in different cities, our little munchkins will grow up knowing each other very well. Emily had a wonderful birthday and we were very happy to be part of it this year. Her mother is one talented cake-maker and I know John, Rowan and I are looking forward to eating many many more of them in the years to come.

Two weeks after our first trip we were back at Ana and Chris' for a conference. John had his first half day alone with Rowan and I had my first half day without him. I was supposed to be gone the entire day but by noon my breasts were about ready to explode and I missed his little face too much to stay away. We got to stay in Ana's bedroom (which I soaked with milk because of my day-away) because Chris was away. This meant that we got the pleasure of being nearby when Emily got up in the morning. She watched us as we changed Rowan's diaper and was facinated by the bare little bum. She pointed and said "Do you see?" to her mom several times. She didn't have the words to express what she was observing but even at 2, she was able to discern the difference in her bum compared to Rowan's. We found out this week while Ana was visiting us that Emily has decided that Rowan has a "noodle" on his bum. You have got to love little minds!

From Toronto we headed West to Cambridge to spend a few days with Margo, Brent and Addison. "Ronin" had his diaper changed many times by his cousin Gracy who insisted that I couldn't forget the cream. I am happy to announce that Addie finally likes me. I think that I made her nervous or something when I was pregnant because I couldn't get down to her level and play like everyone else could. She loves her Aunt Jenny now and her Aunt Jenny loves her to bits. My favourite part of our visit was watching Gracy run after the cats yelling "I'm gonna get-chou". She rubbed her hands and crunched down as she said this and honestly, I thought I would burst out in tears it was so sweet. I still get teary thinking about it. She is going to grow up too quickly. Distance is cruel because it has this uncanny ability to cause kids to change too drastically from one visit to the next.

We got to introduce Rowan to Aunt Nicole, Uncle Darren and Carys too. I think they have been the most excited about Rowan so far. Or, outwardly excited that is. They couldn't stop saying how cute he was. Nicole had him out of the car seat and was playing with him instantly. It was so much fun to see. Carys didn't quite know what to make of the whole situation but played well while we visted. She has grown so much since our last visit too. It won't be long before she is talking. At the time of the visit though her main focus was food. She was obsessed with eating what ever the grown ups were having. She got so frustrated when we were enjoying delicious cakes and didn't include her. Baby-Mum-Mums did the trick. It is incredible to think that Rowan will be her size in just a few months. Nicole and I talk about how the difference between them will not even be noticeable in a couple of years and yet, they are miles apart now developmentally.

Meagan also came to see Rowan while we were at Margo's. She brought him the cutest Robeez with monsters on the toes. We had dinner together which was a stressful event because I chose a very busy place and they put us in a booth which is impossible for breastfeeding. Poor Rowan almost had his back broken when I tried to stuff him under the table to get him to latch. Needless to say, that didn't last long. I ended up sitting in the isle where everyone was lining up for food with my breast feeding apron on and a screaming child at my boob. Ah...gotta love public feedings. It was worth it though because seeing Meagan was a ton of fun.

So...Rowan is already well travelled and, luckily for us, he travels quite well. He doesn't fuss in the car, tolerates new surroundings, can sleep through being put in his car seat at 5am to get on the road, eats well from the bottle, sleeps long distances and adjusts nicely to being home again. After our second trip to TO though we decided to stick around home a little more--apparently Rowan's parents are bigger homebodies than they realized!

Here are a few photos our first adventures. I wish we had taken more of everyone...


At the Toronto Zoo.

Milestones:
The milestones at 7 weeks of age are hard to recognize but so far Rowan has:

• regained his birth weight in under 2 weeks
• smiles regularly when we play with him
• kicks both of his legs
• can hold his head up with ease
• will hold his head up into a sitting position when we pull him up
• has slept over 5.5 hours in one stretch which means he technically sleeps through the night.
  
• giggles and wiggles a lot
• focuses on our faces and will follow us when we move
• has gone through approximately 500 diapers
• sleeps all alone in his crib (much to his daddy's dismay)
• takes naps in the afternoon
• drinks well from the bottle and breast
• likes tummy-time and his mobile
• loves his bath

How Ana Welcomed Him Home

taken from Ana's blog dated: October 15, 2008

Apparently September 2008 was a very busy month. So much so that I have barely any photos to fill a whole month’s blog!

I do recall that the HOMED group (the *entire* group of wives and husbands - and some children) were together for dinner in September. It was your typical evening of wine and lots of foods - stinky cheeses, sausages, breads. Mmmmm. My mouth waters just thinking about all of that.

I also do recall that sometime late in the evening (10pm?) I received a phone call from Ottawa. Jen wasn’t feeling particularly well and thought that I should know. Her due date wasn’t for another week or so but she was feeling really bad. She thought that she was coming down with the flu because she had an all-over malaise. And she was experiencing stomach cramps. Hmmmm. Cramps, you say? I asked her how often she was “cramping” and she replied, “Every five minutes or so.” She thought that she should check things out with Teleheatlh Ontario and I agreed.

A few hours later, Jen called back to say that Telehealth suggested that she go to the hospital and be checked out in person. She went, they measured, they sent her back home. Apparently cramping and being only a couple of centimeters dilated was not considered to be “in labour”.

The next morning, as I was getting up to retrieve the singing leprechaun from her crib and allowing Chris to get some very much needed sleep-in time after the great HOMED dinner, my phone rang. Jen’s cramps had progressed to the point where she just couldn’t sleep through them anymore. She had been up since four a.m. and now they were about five minutes apart. I told her to keep counting and I’d call her in a couple of hours. In the meantime, we all got up out of bed, got something to eat and planned how I’d get to Ottawa to be present for the little boy’s arrival.

All I can say is thank goodness for a little airline located on a small island. We were slightly opposed to said airline company expanding when we were living right across the road / water from it. But now, we love it! Yes, it is a little NIMBY.

I arrived in Ottawa and was kindly driven to the hospital by John’s sister and mother (who where naturally on pins and needles waiting for the impending arrival). After some deep breathing, lots of Tim Hortons, some leaking of fluids, an epidural, lots of Sodokus, a little bit of napping, nectarines and chocolate wafers, candy-coated chick peas (they don’t sound very good but they are in fact quite yummy), a change of shift for the nursing staff, about nine hours of waiting (my time), a set of stirups, a few BIG pushes, a vacuum and lots of other bodily fluids (I’ll spare you the details but if you’d like them, just ask. I have the photos to go along as well.), Rowan Kanj Bejjani was born.

It was absolutely incredible to be present at his birth and to witness Jen experience the one thing she longed for but never thought was possible. I know that birthing Emily catapulted me to another level of being. One that strengthened my bond with Chris, gave me a new sense of purpose, and allowed me to understand (at least began to understand) the fear/excitement/worry/insanity/joy that is being a parent. I am proud of Jen for surviving her pregnancy, facing labour with a very brave face and am excited that she can now share in the roller coaster that is parenthood.

Mr. Bean, just please be kind to your parents. They have no idea what they’re in for.