Appointment No. 2

I saw Dr. Rice on Monday. She took more urine and weighed me again. I have gained 1.5 pounds which is far better than I thought. My tummy is noticeably larger now and it is always sticking out now instead of only making an appearance at night. I have had an awful week and I keep worrying that I am upsetting B3 at the same time. I don't imagine that stress is all that healthy for a little one. I have been trying hard to let things roll off my back, but I haven't been doing very well.

I learned that my appointment with Dr. Lal has been set for March 3rd. The same day as my ultrasound which is convenient. I had to have the time moved, but they were very good about accommodating me. That's a great sign.

I find myself worrying about the silliest of things. I worry I am going to fall, every little twinge I run to the bathroom to make sure there is no sign of miscarriage, I wonder if BB will love us and be proud of us. It's all really quite crazy. I read that emotions often get out of control in the 8th week. I keep reminding myself of the fact that my hormones have taken over my body and that the crying I do will pass. It is so strange to be excited and upset all at the same time.

John has been very busy working nights and painting the condo. We are heading to Quebec City to celebrate our anniversary and I am grateful that we will have time to relax together. Maybe we will even get a little of Paris back. Regardless, it will be wonderful to be with him and plan for what lies ahead. We need this time together that is for sure. One year, so many changes. Sometimes I wonder if we really understand how much we have accomplished in such a short time. I am so lucky to be sharing this experience with him. He is going to be an amazing daddy.

Bulging Belly

I didn't think that you were "supposed" to look pregnant at 7 weeks. But, there is no doubt about it, I have a tummy full of baby. I can squeeze into my pants but by the end of the day I am suffocating. I am much happier in the expandable stretchy things they have invented for women just like me.

I have been really hungry. The problem with being really hungry is that I also feel very grossed out by food and so eating is a struggle. I don't feel nauseous but I can't say I feel perfectly well either. I am not complaining because any symptom is a good one when you're anxious about the wellbeing of something you can't see or feel. I am looking forward to feeling a little kick, a flutter, anything that lets me know B3 is alive and growing.

That's it for this blog. Next week I see Dr. Rice. I wonder what she'll poke and prod, if she pokes and prods at all...

Anxiety

The cramps have finally subsided which has helped the anxiety I was experiencing greatly. I was nervous that BB wasn't going to make it, and I guess it is still a possibility but it is much more reassuring to be cramp-free. Other than large breasts, bloating and the cramps I haven't had any other pregnancy symptoms which has been a blessing. Half way through the first trimester. 6 more weeks and the risk associated with miscarriage will drop significantly. I will breathe a serious sigh of relief when the second trimester rolls around that is for sure. Despite the anxiety, I am trying to enjoy being pregnant and looking forward to the life we are so close to having... We have looked at baby furniture, we've chosen the baby's room and we've been reading a books that Ana so kindly wrapped up and sent us. We take turns at night reading to each other which has been a very nice way to end the days. I have also experienced my first and second trips to the maternity clothing store. I have had to buy appropriate bras and a few pairs of pants. Maternity jeans are a saving grace! I love them... Yes, only 6 weeks down and I am already a little porky. I have gained about 4 pounds. I am nervous about the weight gain and the idea of breaking 200lbs but at the same time, I refuse to deny the baby anything and so I eat when I feel like it (which happens to be quite a bit).

I have had my first round of blood tests, I go back to Dr. Rice's on the 28th of January and my first Ultrasound is scheduled for March 3rd. It will be amazing to hear that little heart beating just before we head off on our 2 week vacation to the Nevada desert. I bet I look more than just little pregnant by then. We haven't really been on a vacation since our 4 day romantic get-away to Paris in March last year. It's so hard to believe that a year ago John and I didn't even know each other and here we are, building a family and a wonderful life. Every day I count my blessings that I found him. Sometimes, if we are very lucky, amazingly wonderful things can come out of very bad situations. Our life together is a perfect example. *sigh*

The First Visit

So the news is out. I guess it is impossible to keep such an exciting discovery quiet. I don't think there is any harm in letting people share in our happiness this early. Everyone who has been privy to the information has had a very positive reaction, several even confessed to having a "feeling" that I was pregnant. I can't say that I am surprised by the enthusiasm we have received. Much like everyone else, I think that we are going to be wonderful parents (if I do say so myself).

I saw Dr. Rice today. She gave me a whole bunch of requisition forms for a whole bunch of tests. I don't have my first ultrasound until between "11 week and 3 days and 13 weeks". I don't know why they are so specific, but that is what she said. In the meantime, I have to go for blood work and back to Dr. Rice's for a check-up. She will be referring me to Dr. Lal, the OBGYN that Mary recommended. I guess that means that BB will be coming into this world at the Queensway Carleton Hospital somewhere around September 11/12th, 2008. While I am anxious to meet our baby, I am also really looking forward to being pregnant and watching my body change. My breasts have already grown half an inch, I can only imagine what else is in store for me. We already know that sleeply nights filled with snoring are in store for poor John... Ana snored too and apparently it hasn't stopped. I hope for John's sake that this is just a temporary symptom of my condition and that it doesn't last beyond BB's birth. Even Jackson can't take the noise and leaves the bedroom to find refuge in the guest room now.

My Uncle Ken and Aunt Brenda told me that grampa used to say "The first child can come at any time, the second ALWAYS takes nine months!". If grampa was right, John and Jackson will get their reprieve a little early.

Our Little Secret

Maybe it is too early to be excited? Maybe it is too early to want everyone to know? I don't know the answers. I guess this is just the beginning of a million questions that come with parenthood to which there really are no right or wrong answers... For now, and until John gives me the nod, baby bejjani (bb for short) will be our little secret-for the most part.

BB was discovered on December 31st, 2007. It was far too early to take a pregnancy test, but I couldn't wait any longer. We had gone through one month, and approximately 7 tests without any success. I expected to be disappointed this month too but instead, 2 little pink lines appeared on that pee-stick. I sat there repeating " I see two lines, I see two lines" until it occurred to me that I had to pack up the little gift I had bought John in anticipation of this very day and get downstairs to share the news... That's exactly what I did. He was at the dining room table working when I announced that I had yet another gift for him . He had gotten used to getting small gifts throughout the holiday season and thought this was just one more surprise. A surprise it was. He saw the stick then the purple scull onesie and jumped up to hug me. He was a little teary-eyed, but he was far more calm than I expected.

We decided to tell his parents and sisters at New Year's Eve dinner that night. The segue into our news was perfect...John's dad toasted the New Year and John added "and to the family growing by 1". His mother responded and said "Yes, Hanan!". No one understood what he meant. I started to giggle of course and then the news sunk in. His sister kept saying "What do you mean?" and then she gave me a high-five. Dave and Hanan were excited (Dave called me "sister" which I thought was cute). John's dad was happy. John's mother was a little reserved, but that's just Lila and I am sure she will come around once the first trimester has come and gone and we (me and BB) are in the clear...

I wanted to tell my family in person but they aren't going to be in Ottawa before January 19th and Margo isn't coming any time soon and so they got the news over the phone. My family had always believed that I would not have children and so, this news comes as a very big relief to Margo and Brent who worried about Addison growing up without cousins, and to my dad, who just never accepted the idea of me giving up on my dream to have a family of my own.

I sent an evite to Ana immediately after I took a second test and it came back positive. The evite was for September 12th (the estimated due date) and said that she gets front row seats to the event. I only required her to bring a very strong hip. She'll need it just like I did when EM arrived. Ana wants us to move to Toronto immediately, of course.

While I am very happy that everyone took the news well, I was tickled by Mary's reaction at midnight when she called to wish us a Happy New Year. She said "Happy New Year, maybe this year will be yours" to which I responded "Uh, hun. Maybe". She is so quick. She said "Do you know already?". I couldn't lie. She started to scream and I think she may even have cried a little. I suspect she had been in to the red wine but, I do believe that her reaction was genuine. Clara and BB will be very close in age which will be nice for them growing up together.

BB is very lucky, he/she already has a very loving family awaiting.