Can you believe that it was one year ago today that we found out about little Rowan? I can't. Even if my pregnancy seemed to drag on and I wished the year away every day just to speed up his arrival, I am still floored by the fact that a full 365 days have gone by since I saw those two little pink lines on the stick. But they have, and this year, unlike all years past, I have a growing yard stick to measure how the year went. Imagine, it only took 39 weeks+1 day to grow a perfect little human being, and he is here. I mean, *really* here.
It's hard not to reflect on years past as this year comes to a close. 2006 and 2007 stick out in my mind because I know how rough they were on me. But looking back now, I find it difficult to remember exactly how bad they really were. Finding John and having Rowan has almost erased the memories of having my life turned completely upside down. Thoughts of my old life do come to me from time-to-time but instead of causing a knot in my stomach now, the thoughts remind me of how far I have come in such a short time. They help me to not forget how truly blessed I am to have made it out of that life and into this one. Don't get me wrong, there was happiness in Vernon but there was also a lot of worry and emptiness. Now, where there was constant uncertainty, frustration, and loss, I have comfort, joy and a love that can't be matched. 2008 was the best year of my life and that's amazing to me because it wasn't too long ago that it felt like everything was wrong. Now everything couldn't be more right. I think that is worth a sip of champagne or two and a big fat juicy lobster...
p.s. this picture is of Rowan wearing the onesie I bought in anticipation of getting pregnant. I gave it to J as a way to tell him that he was going to be a daddy.
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